Is There A Moral Problem With Big Bird Eating Egg-Fried Rice?

After watching the presidential debate this last Wednesday night, I find it interesting how the media then decides what was important and what was not.  Whether it be right-wing pundits or left-wing, the talking points about the debate were crystallized within an hour and haven’t changed much since. One of those things deemed important was Mitt Romney’s line about Big Bird. What I find frustrating is that to me, the Big Bird line was cute, but the better line that preceded it is being completely overlooked. I believe the best line from Wednesday’s debate was when Romney in essence said he would go through every federal budget item and make sure it passes a simple test. Is this program or expense worth borrowing money from China to keep around? In all seriousness, I  believe that is a very good question and one that should be asked of every government budget item regardless of who is elected. I mean, it’s easy for Sesame Street fans to get all up in arms about the possible loss of Big Bird, but it’s a fair question. Is providing federal funding to a kid’s show worth borrowing money from China to do it? The easy answer is, it isn’t. And it’s not that I want Sesame Street to go away. But can we be honest for a second? Are we as rational human beings supposed to believe that Sesame Street can’t exist on the money they make just from selling all their crap toys at Walmart alone? I know it’s only .01% of the deficit, but so what? At least it’s a start and then we keep asking the China question again and again. I guarantee we would see some real deficit reduction.

But enough of the over-serious political stuff. My main point is that I am now going to make the China line one of my main responses in everyday life. How can I not?

When my 13-year-old daughter asks what I think of a song she wants to download from iTunes, my response will be, “Well, it’s alright, but I wouldn’t borrow money from China to get it.”

When she looks at me with bewildered confusion, I’ll just start nodding my head and say, “Exactly, babe, exactly,” and then I’ll walk away.

Another situation where this will work out well will be when my children get whiny and start in with, “Daaaaddd, why can’t I _______ (fill-in the blank with any ridiculous request ranging from ‘wear my underwear on the outside of my pants’ to ‘throw my sister off the bunk bed into the toy box below’). I will simply respond, “Sorry guys, it doesn’t rate high enough on the borrowing from China meter,” and leave it at that. I mean, the line really does speak for itself.

So this is my ultimate goal: one day, I want my children to automatically know from the tone of my voice what they are about to hear. And before I can get it out, they cut me off as their eyes roll back in their heads, “We know, it’s not worth borrowing money from China. That’s what you always say. What does that even mean, Dad?”

“Exactly, guys, exactly!!!” Oh man, I can’t wait.


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