Random Streams of Consciousness

After all the sugar that entered my blood stream over the weekend, it is hard for me to maintain a single coherent thought for more than a minute. Therefore, today, I am going to comment on a topic until I lost interest or focus and then move on to another topic.  We’ll see how it goes.

– Speaking of sugar, why is it that every major historical achievement that warrants its own holiday has been reduced to seeing how much unhealthy food a person can ingest in a day? For instance, how do we honor the truly blessed event of our forebears discovering this land of opportunity and plenty? By eating pie. Not a piece of pie, a pie…each…maybe plural. And you can top that pie off with some turkey and rich mashed potatoes dripping with gravy. But regardless of what the main course holds, you better have 36 pies waiting in the wings on Thanksgiving day or people will begin to question your level of gratitude.

Or how about the birth of the Son of God, the person responsible for each of us being able to return to live with God?  That’s right, Candy Canes, Sugar Cookies and any sort of imalgimation of chocolate, peanut butter, popcorn/rice crispies, and frosting. And nothing says Glory to God in the highest like a reenactment of the nativity topped off by several glasses of egg nog…and cake balls. (Who invented cake/oreo balls? Seriously, I don’t think I’ve ever simultaneously loved and hated one person more in my entire life.)

And finally, how does the modern day Christian celebrate the single greatest act ever performed for the benefit of all mankind? With ham, of course. And as many Cadbury chocolate eggs as you can scrounge because you know full well the day after Easter their black market value will quadruple.

So, as I step on the treadmill today after a complete meltdown this weekend, (my wife had the nerve to tell me Saturday night to stop eating the ice cream in the freezer. I calmly explained that the only way that was going happen was if she stopped buying the ice cream to put in the freezer in the first place.)  I will start again and work tirelessly over the next month to undo the damage I inflicted on myself in three short days. Hey, that should be just in time for Memorial Day. AWESOME!!!

– For those who may have wondered, I didn’t win my golf tournament. I didn’t even come close. And I think the reasons are, #1, I am not that good of a golfer. #2, I need to quit getting so excited in the days leading up to this event. I was so overly amped that I barely slept three or four hours the night before and then spent the first six holes unable to breathe out of excitement. By the end of those six holes? I was down 13 shots. Yeah, that’s not a good recipe for success right there.

– Letting your kids make decisions for themselves has got to be the hardest thing to do in the world. This morning, my son was so excited that it was April Fool’s Day (AFD). He desperately wanted to wrap his arm up and put it in a sling for school. Now think through this with me for a second. He wanted to dibilitate himself for an entire day by removing the use of one arm so that he could yell, “April Fools” during the last five minutes of school. Who really gets punk’d in this situation? I can only imagine everyone around him who had the full function of both arms all day long reacting with a barely interested, “Huh? Oh…good one.”

Good one that is, until he mentioned that his best friend pulled the same prank a couple of years ago. Now take another moment to think about this.  Who are you trying to prank on AFD? Your friends, of course. So…do we really think your best friend, the same guy who has performed this clever act of subterfuge before is gonna be taken in by this? My son’s response, “Well, it was two years ago and he only had a wrist brace.” Okay, got me there, son. He won’t see this coming at all. But this is the same son who demanded to wear a neck tie with his polo shirt to school. I tried desperately to stop him, but he assured me everyone else was doing it. Turns out, he was right. At least five other boys were taking part in this fashion travesty. I don’t know what that says about his friends, but it reminded me that sometimes, I just have to let things go.

– A trend that has started in the last few years is having video trailers for books, much like previews to a movie. If my book is going to have one, I have to produce it myself and I have had some initial conversations regarding just that. However, I was hoping that I might get some input. I know not many people like to respond to blog posts, me included, but if you have a moment, please tell me if you have ever seen a book trailer. And if so, did it help in your decision to seek out a book that you might not have otherwise read? I’m just curious.

-Finally, a personal request that if you are a reader and interact with other readers, please introduce them to this blog or send them to facebook.com/ryanrapierauthor on facebook so they can like my page and get updates regarding THE RELUCTANT BLOGGER as its release date gets closer. In the next couple of months, the cover art from the book as well as previews from early chapters will appear on this blog and hopefully heighten people’s interest in the story.

So if you know a family that might be interested in a humorous LDS novel about life, love and relationships, set a date to ask them to visit this blog by, invite them over for dinner and if they accept, I can just happen to be there as well to share a short message about my book. Oh wait, that sounds a little too familiar. Never mind. If you could just mention my page to anyone who might find it interesting, I could ask for nothing more.  Thank you.

THE RELUCTANT BLOGGER arrives in bookstores August 13, 2013. It is currently available for pre-order through amazon.com by clicking here or through Bookworms Bookstore in Thatcher, AZ.

 

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