And Here I Thought It Was a Good Day

Last Friday, I took the day off and headed down to the Valley of the Sun to play a little golf. Now I know some might question my sanity planning a golf trip to Phoenix in the month of August, but we got incredibly lucky. When we teed off at 7 a.m., it was a tad drizzly and weather stayed overcast for well over half the round. It did get quite muggy as the day progressed, but otherwise, we couldn’t have asked for better temperatures. All around, it was a very enjoyable day. The kind of day that lifts your spirits and reminds you that life isn’t that bad. I held onto those feelings all weekend. Unfortunately, I had to return to reality eventually. This morning I tuned back into the political news of the day and realized that there is no reason at all to feel good about anything. As evidence, I submit the following examples from the recent past.

“They’re gonna put y’all back in chains.” – VP Joe Biden

How do I not start off with this one? The Vice President, addressing a crowd in a southern state with a predominately black audience, used this imagery to describe what would happen if the Republican ticket were to win and allow the banks to get out from under some of their current regulations.

First of all, there is nothing quite so hilarious and yet icky as a country club seventy-something year old white man adopting a faux African American accent. I can honestly say, I have never really heard Joe Biden refer to his audience as y’all before. But anyway, his message was ominous. I was horrified to think that if Romney is elected, my family and I could end up in chains. But thankfully, I realized he said y’all, as in you all, meaning not him. So does that mean everybody but him? That doesn’t make sense. The only thing I could think of is he either meant Virginians or people who are somehow different than him…like maybe people with a different skin complexion.

See the other key word that gives me hope that I might avoid a life in chains is back. I’ve never been in chains. My ancestors have never been in chains (except for the horse thieves, but that’s a completely different story unrelated to banking). So I can only assume he was referring to people who have either been in chains or have had their ancestors in chains. I wonder who that could be?

Mr. Biden says he was misunderstood, and in no way was trying to make any racial comments…Okay?!? Either way, it sounds like I’m going to end up in chains or the candidates of unity and togetherness just ripped the country in half based on race. Neither option makes me feel warm and fuzzy.

Medicare is going to end as we currently know it.

It seems no matter which person I vote for, they are going to destroy Medicare as I know it. Then when I turn 65, they are going to load me up in a wheel chair and throw me over a cliff. Oh wait, they are only throwing grannies over a cliff. Gee, I wonder what is in store for the grandpas. If they aren’t even willing to talk about it, it must really bad.

For my entire life, Democrats have accused Republicans of trying to destroy Medicare and then leveled all kinds of other dastardly predictions of what Republicans would do to old people. Back in the eighties it was force feeding them cat food, now it is literally the wheelchair over the cliff. However, it is nice to see Republicans getting in on this “scare the old people” tactic this cycle. We wouldn’t want just one side demagoguing an issue like this. What I’m taking from this whole back and forth is that I had better win the lottery, strike oil on my 1/8 of an acre plot of land or divorce my wife and marry an heiress if I want to have any kind of healthcare in my golden years.  Isn’t that what both campaigns are effectively saying will be the case if the other side wins? I’m so glad the selection of Ryan has made this whole process more substantive.

“If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.” -Rep Todd Akin, MO running for the US Senate in that state talking about how small the number of pregnancies actually caused by rape actually is.

OH MY GOSH!!!!! If I hear one more Republican senate candidate say something so asinine that it effectively ends their bid for elected office I’m going to set a car on fire. (Not mine. Probably the car that belongs to the guy down the street who keeps letting his dog poop in my grass and not picking it up.)

I blame this on the tea party and their “let’s burn the whole process to the ground” mentality. This is the group that ran the witch in Delaware, the prohibitionist in Nevada and the guy who put a journalist in bondage in Alaska.  GUYS, there is a thing called a vetting process. I know that Akin has been in the house for a number of years, but good gosh, before we nominate someone for a senate seat, things like this need to come up. I mean how did nobody know that he believed something as insane as this? Now, the incumbent president gets to change the subject away from things like, I don’t know, jobs…and the economy, to talk about abortion and the crazies on the right who believe this kind of junk, all the while implying that a Mormon like Romney and a Catholic like Ryan probably agree with this bozo.

Now all of a sudden my head hurts and my Monday has been ruined. I should call back down to Phoenix and see if they have a tee time available for tomorrow. And every day until the first Tuesday in November.



  1. Marnee · August 20, 2012

    Just when I think that anything that can go wrong (in my universe), has already done so . . . I come read your blog, and remember, why I have always appreciated those with a good sense of humor (and their ability to make me laugh).

    Many thanks.
    It was sorely needed today 🙂

    • rrapier33 · August 20, 2012

      Well, thank you. I hope tomorrow is a better day.

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